Saturday, September 20, 2014


I'm already hissing as I type this post, my first kiss was not what I expected at allllll. Haba something I was earnestly looking forward to, I practiced and practiced, I experimented(please don't ask me how), there was nothing I didn't do in preparation for this "first kiss" because I saw it coming and well the "he" was more advanced in that area than I was so of course I did not want to disgrace myself, so I practiced day and night, in my sleep, in my dream, in my head, I just kept practicing, waiting patiently and nervously for the hour. How old was I again...hmmm! I was...emm I know people that'll bring out calculator on this matter so I won't say how old I was *side eye* HoneyDame and Toinlicious

The hour finally came, my palms were somewhat sweaty, I was trying to remember all I knew, telling myself "don't forget to bend your head slightly to the left" and all that nonsense. Then it happened, for the first few seconds, my lips were frozen in the air, I was too nervous to move the muscle in my lips then that small voice whispered to me *my friend don't be stupid, shake body* and I obeyed, if you ask me I was good...enough *cough*. All of a sudden I wasn't nervous anymore, it began to feel like an experiment, a science experiment, a new discovery "oohhh this is it" "wow" "ohh okay" I was waiting for the eureka moment! but nothing happened, "ah ah is this it?" was now the question in my head "I can't feel butterflies in my stomach yet oh, maybe it'll come in a few seconds". At that point I was tired of closing my eyes biko, na so I open am, "nope no butterflies", "maybe any" nope it still didn't happen. I didn't feel any single thing at all, I expected to find myself in cloud 9 but I wasn't flying without wings, I did not understand why, "this is not what they promised me oh" was now on my mind, "they" being movies and books. Bros was still into the nonsense, na so I tell oga e don do biko, I mean, I wasn't benefitting from the saliva exchange so warrahell.

Summary TBH
As a major learner, I thought maybe the first time was just nerves cramping on my nonexistent style or maybe I was expecting too much, I decided to try again...with the same person oh O_o, second kiss, hmm, still the same unending project, this time my mind was even on the chocolate pretzel I bought earlier on *sigh*.

How was your first kiss? I've heard hilarious stories. Please share yours if you recall.


Wednesday, June 18, 2014


I LOVE LIVER!!! You'll love this recipe if you love liver like me and if you don't love liver ordinarily, you should try it too, it's delicious, you might be a convert and beef liver is really cheap, what's not to love. I don't know about other animals, I'm sure chicken liver would be cheap too. This is a very common recipe which means it's very easy.

Liver(Beef/Chicken, etc.)
Bay leaf
Green bell pepper
Scotch bonnet 
Chilli powder 
Ketchup - 1tablespoon
Knorr cube(very little)

1. Put clean liver in a pot with salt to taste and bay leaf, let boil for 10minutes.

2. After boiling, take out the liver and throw the "stock" out, you won't need that
Not so appetizing. I know!

3. Cut liver into bite size, cut onions and scotch bonnet, mince ginger and garlic

4. Add oil to a pan on low heat. When the oil is hot add onion, garlic and ginger

5. Fry the onion, garlic and ginger till it gets brown or to your taste

6. Add liver, knorr, chilli powder and salt(if needed) to the frying onion. Stir continuously till the liver is a little bit brown

7. Add ketchup, scotch bonnet and green bell pepper to frying liver(You can add other bell peppers if you wish). Cover and let it fry(still on low heat) for an additional 10minutes and stir every 2minutes.

8. Voila! Fried liver is ready!!

9. Now serve with whatever. As a nigerian, rice will do :D
Ehhh *scratching head*


Saturday, February 15, 2014


Side-note: I'm no nutritionist or physician, everything I know about weight gain I learnt on my own from research and my personal experience.

N:B This previous post summarizes the basics and what someone trying to gain weight should do but the "weight gain journey" posts would be more detailed. It would also cover my weight gain journey since I lost all the weight I painfully gained over the summer due to......well life :|

This is the beginning of my "weight gain journey" series? posts? whatever.

A weight gain journey is really expensive so you should be prepared to spend much more money than you'd normally spend on food and nutritional drinks aint cheap, at least this is the case for me.

1. MOTIVATION: You need motivation to be able to get through this journey. Shop for motivation, because without it, this whole journey would hit a brick wall. A weight gain journey is just like a weight loss journey, you need motivation to be able to get through it and remain consistent. I watch successful weight loss videos on youtube for motivation to go on my weight gain journey, talk about irony, but it works for me. Find yours!!!

2. GROCERY SHOPPING: Make sure you buy all your favourite foods and foods that are high in calories. Foods like walnuts, almonds, banana, avocado, eggs, peanut butter, etc.

You want to gain weight but you want to make sure you're gaining clean weight by eating healthy foods not just junk and fatty foods.

This is my personal list: Based on my preference

Vegetables                                     Meat/Products                            High Carbs
1. Spinach                                         1. Chicken                                             1. Potato
2. Carrots                                          2. Beef                                                    2. Croissant
3. Cucumber                                    3. Turkey                                              3. Bread
4. Lettuce                                         4. Liver/Gizzard                                4. Tortilla
5. Green bell pepper                    5. Bacon                                                5. Beans
6. Green beans                               6. Egg                                                      6. Rice
                                                                                                                               7. Spagetti
Spreads                             Fruits                            Drinks                                         
1. Butter                            1. Avocado                    1. Soy milk                                    
2. Nutella                          2. Banana                       2. Orange juice                              
3. Peanut butter            3. Oranges                      3. Cranberry juice      
                                             4. Strawberries                          

Nuts                 Seafoods
1. Almond        1. Tilapia
2. Walnut         2. Shrimp

2. NUTRITION: You need to buy any good nutritional drink of your choice.
  • Nutritional Drink: I prefer boost plus because each bottle contains 360calories and there is also nutrament which also contains 360calories per can. I've never tried nutrament but I heard it's really good so I'd give it a try especially if it's cheaper than boost plus. Then there is ensure plus. It's pretty much the same price with the boost plus but contains 350calories per bottle. So what I do between boost plus and ensure plus is this, I buy the cheapest. They contain the same number of bottles in a pack and cost almost the same. Sometimes one is on sale and the other isn't. So I buy whichever one is cheaper at the time of my shopping.
  • Multivitamin: Multivitamins are recommended as we age. Why not start now? They also help improve your appetite. My multivitamin of choice is "one a day women's multivitamin". So do your research and choose one suitable for your gender and age.
3. EQUIPMENTS: I'm sure you're wondering "equipments?? for what" lol.
  • Bathroom Scale: You need to be able to track your weight so you need a bathroom scale. Some people would rather check their weight in stores from time to time but I prefer having mine around at all times.
  • Exercise: Know the parts of your body you need to work on and buy equipments for that purpose OR go to the gym if you wish. For me, I don't need large equipments so I won't need a gym. The only equipment I need for exercise is a jump rope and a ribbed exercise mat lol. I'd be doing exercises like leg lifts, leg lunges, squat, sit up and skipping. That's it. There are people who would rather not exercise. I think it's important but really it's up to you.
  • Measurements: You'd need a body measuring tape.
After shopping, you are ready for DAY 2 on your weight gain journey.


Thursday, February 13, 2014


So to the ish I don't like. This tag was going round and round youtube and I thought why not? I feel like I've previously done something like this but I'm not so sure. Anyways

1. I hate shaving, yep you read that right. I hate shaving. Anything that has to do with shaving, shaving stick, shaving cream, etc. I hate it so much. Like why do we have hair in all those areas we don't need. Like armpit, what does armpit hair do? Catch spiders? kmt!

2. I hate body contacts, hugs, rubs, all those crap. I wish everyone could keep their hands to themselves but dang! it can never be possible. Like touchy touchy touchiness ewwww. Don't touch me!!!!

3. I totally dislike been hungry, I hate the feeling. My stomach gets wall flat, it feels so empty, I get weak, my feet gets cold and then I start shaking like physically shaking. I hate been hungry I swear and it makes me really angry. You really don't want to talk to me when I'm hungry I'd make you question your life.

4. I despise sharing my food. I'd rather fix you a plate than have you poking miserable cutleries in my plate. The worst is if I had asked you if you were interested and you said "no" and when my food is ready you whip out a fork, ughhhh! my friend does this and starts laughing because she knows it annoys me. And then there are three foods I'll rather eat in the belly of the huge fish that swallowed Jonah than share. 1. Nigerian made suya 2. Snail 3. Udara/agbalumo.

5. When someones phone is ringing, they don't wanna pick it up but they won't put it on "silent" either and the person on the other end of the call would not even give up and stop calling. This thing drives me crazy. Like if you don't want to pick up the freaking call then put the freaking phone on freaking sileeeennnntttt!!!! that's why they have that mode on the phone. My gahd!! This annoys me so much.

6. Unannounced visitors are the most annoying. I hardly go out so I'm almost always at home that means an unannounced visitor would most likely meet me at home. My house is my safe haven, you can't just knock your scrawny fingers on my door expecting me to open the door when you didn't give me a heads up because I AINT OPENING!! And for some annoying reason, the unannounced visitors are never pleasant ones, always someone you don't even want to see at all. Call me before coming to my house, send a text, drop a Facebook msg, tweet at me, send me a video on instagram. Damn!!! inform me.


Monday, February 10, 2014

So I've lost a lot of weight. Don't even ask! And I am so sad. The funny thing is, I no longer have a scale so I don't even know how much I've lost but I'm very sure I've lost a lot. My jeans whispered to me.

Click here to read the first step in my weight gain journey.

After promising to blog about it last time and failing, I've decided to go on operation "gain back the weight and maintain it" so help me God, Amen! and I'd blog about every single thing with pictures even though I can't find my camera charger. I'm wondering if anyone would like to join me in the journey. We can do it together on my blog and I'd share my personal tips that have been tested and confirmed by me on what we have to do while blogging our progress. Bear in mind I'm neither a nutritionist nor a doctor.

If you're interested in joining this movement send me an email on "" and I'd tell you all about it.
I'd give about 5 days(till Saturday the 15th) for those interested to get back to me. If I don't get any response, well I'd do it alone and blog my progress but it'd really be interesting if a couple of us do it together, just like "biggest losers" but ours would be "biggest gainers" lol. At the end of the "movement", the closest to his/her goal would get something from me, how about that! I'm just trying to convince y'all to join me please.

For a little more information on this weight gain thing. You can click this link to read the basics you should know.


Friday, January 31, 2014

Dear Sugar Daddy

Dear Sugar Daddy,

I don tire! My pocket don tear
When these youngies talk to me I dey fear oh
Wetin I carry job hunter do when I fit get employer
Dem tell me say dey love me but love no dey buy Prada bag

I ask dem for maintenance money
Them tell me say "things will get better"
I go dey chop e go better when my mates dey shop for Marina
Abi me never reach to see Abu Dhabi?

Emeka say him go make am one day
But I dey talk about today oh Emeka
Tunde wey no get transport money talkless of motor ask me to be "ride or die"
Ask me how I wan take ride abeg abi na die him want?

Me too wan chop chinese
I wan fly first class, even business class all na the same
If you get private jet I no go mind sef
Sugar Daddy oya talk your own, me don talk my own

Times are rough

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Or should I say lack of sex *straight face*

I really don't have the time to beat around the bush. Have you ever been in a no sex relationship? Asking for a friend

But on a serious note! Do no sex relationships last. Please I'd be glad if you can talk about your experience in a "no sex" relationship or what you heard or someone else's experience you know about. If you don't want to tell me with your user ID, feel free to go anonymous.

Are there still guys that would stay with a girl that is not willing to have sex with them and vice versa. Every guy I know cannot stay in a no sex relationship sha.

I doubt I know any couple that doesn't have sex. Ha! I have so many questions I don't even know where to start from. I'd just ask a few. Say you want a relationship without sex and you have an absolutely great partner or should I say a potential great partner, I mean all you've ever wanted, God's answer to your prayers, knight in shinning armour, like this person is everything you've dreamt of. Would you break up with them/refuse to be in a relationship with them if they decide they can't be in a relationship without sex? or would you just be like screw this(pun intended) and give in.

When getting together with a guy when do you let them know you are not interested in sex in the relationship? Do you tell the guy during the "I like you"/talking stage, do you get into a relationship with the guy before you actually spill the beans, I mean when you guys have already started referring to yourselves as "boyfriend, girlfriend" is that when it's okay to let them know your reservations on sex. That's too late sheh?

Apparently relationships without sex are ancient and hardly exist anymore. And presently it seems as a "young" girl if you make it known you're abstaining from sex for whatever reason then you have to be ready to remain single for a pretty long time.

If you're a guy, answer from a guys point of view.

@Toinlicious you see, I still remember the password to this blog *tongue out*

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